Special Report: Peer Review
Looking for inspiration, I went to a local museum to have a look at their sword display. There were lots of interesting weapons in there (though some were really rusty. Nothing a bit of brasso wouldn’t solve guys) and I came away feeling really inspired- so expect some new material soon folks.
As I was leaving I saw a small display of drawings some previous visitors had created. And one of them caught my eye immediately.
I’m not ashamed to say that my initial reaction was pride and confusion that one of my creations had been put on display without my permission (note the exquisite wrapped leather handle- a swordsdrawn trademark if ever I saw one)! I was close to seeking out the closest member of staff to discuss royalties, but on closer inspection it became obvious that this was someone else’s work. Entirely.
Let’s take a closer look – the first thing that springs out is the HUGE fuller- almost the width of the whole blade itself. I can’t help but think this would affect the integrity of the blade. It’s also bright blue- most likely lead. I mean lead! One of the most malleable metals known to man! Good luck against even leather armour mate. The handle’s not in the centre.
Secondly, whilst I can’t help but admire his wrapped leather handle, he’s wrapped the tip of the blade as well. And even then it isn’t straight. What’s the point in a wrapped leather tip? Is it a practise sword? A child’s toy? No no- the artist spells it out for us: This is “ROMAN ARMOUR”. Well for starters it isn’t. It’s a sword and shield. Secondly, I highly doubt the Roman Empire would have been quite the same waving lead blades wrapped in leather about against the barbarian hordes of modern day Germany and France.
But- my scoff turned to a gasp when my eyes crossed to the shield. It is magnificent.
First off- the message: “WE FIGHT FOR CAESAR”. Bold. Simple. Leaves the opposition in no doubt about whom they’re fighting here. There’s even a picture of the great emperor in case the opponents can’t read English (Which Ceasar isn’t actually mentioned- but when you think about it this makes perfect sense. If one dies, they’d have to score out the name and write the new one underneath on all their shields). But what really impressed me about the shield is the sense of perspective. Look at the way the shield is facing slightly off centre to right. The artist has created this effect by purposefully making the right hand side (as your facing it) smaller and more condensed, making that side appear further away. Truly advanced drawing.
So, mystery artist, my Moriarty : if you are reading this- You have my attention. I understand it is advantage you, but I promise, you ain’t seen the last of me yet. And as for your cryptic clue as to your identity- Chirnside Primary School. We’ll I’ve found it on Google maps, and I’ll been lurking outside it’s gates with binoculars until I find you.